Gas Week

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Great Wall of Sydney can be seen for five kilometres around the CBD at 2.8 metres high with 5 tonnes of concrete footings

Posted by gasweek on 2 October, 2007

The Great Wall of Sydney could be seen for five kilometres around the CBD according to Deirdre Macken of The Australian Financial Review (18/8/2007, p. 27).

Great Wall of Sydney 2.8 metres high, with 5 tonnes of concrete footings: At 2.8 metres high, with 5 tonnes of concrete footings, it was an impressive landmark. Do Not Touch It. If you wandered out of the designated area, you would be alerted by one of the 1362 megaphones that had been installed around the city for your comfort. The message you would most likely hear is “Go back, you are going the wrong way” but don’t be surprised if you heard “Drop it, lie face down with your hands behind your back.” This was Australia’s traditional greeting for Indian doctors.

Security measures to “make the Prime Minister look good”: If you had any problems with security please remember that most of the restrictions have been imposed by the state government, which was hoping to make the Prime Minister look good in front of his home town.

Language peculiarities: Australians spoke English, but due to their distance from major cultural centres the language had developed some idiosyncrasies. “Wanker” was an endearing term that Australians used to describe Americans. “Bugger off” was an exclamation Australians used when there were flies distracting their vision of you.

How to wear the APEC official outfit for end-of-summit photograph: The Billabong board shorts should be slung low over the hips and tied at the front with the laces provided. The Farting Dog T-shirt was designed to be short in the torso so there was sufficient space between the shorts and T-shirt to expose your bum crack. Helen Clark should wear a bikini top with the board shorts.

General wardrobe suggestions: From the first week of September, it was officially shorts and T-shirt weather. If the temperature rose above 25C, footwear became optional. If the temperature dropped below 10C, it was appropriate to wear a hoodie. But if you wore the hood up expect to be stopped by NSW Police, Federal Police, Mick Keelty, Kevin Andrews, the CIA, a couple of Black Hawks and reporters from Today Tonight, who were always on the lookout for hoodlums.

Tips for departure: Farewell your hosts by saying “see ya round like a rissole”. Do not carry excessive currency, duty-free or stethoscopes out of the country as these could alert the crew from Border Security. As your plane banked over Cronulla, you might catch sight of 4 million Sydneysiders returning home.

The Australian Financial Review, 18/8/2007, p. 27

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